I like writing

I’ve always viewed words and ideas like the story of Joseph. 

I try to store them up while they’re abundant in preparation for the years of famine. I hide them away and keep them to myself in case I need them. 

But what if words are manna? What if I’m meant to wait in anticipation and trust that God will keep showing up? What if hoarding more than I need causes them to spoil? What if burying what God teaches me in the depths of my google docs is poor stewardship? 

Stewardship is on my mind lately, and apparently, it was in November too. My journal entries from this week and from November are almost identical. God keeps teaching the same lessons over and over, and I think it’s because I never listen. 

I keep telling God I want to use EVERYTHING. I want to use it all for his glory and invite more blessings. but I’ve never thought that applies to the words floating around in my brain. 

I’ve been a mom for 18 months now, and a mom of two for 3. Lately, I’ve been trying to rediscover fun. why is it so hard to figure out what I do/used to do for fun? 

writing is fun. creating content for the internet is fun. but it feels silly to admit it because what’s the point in creating something that doesn’t have a purpose? my time is more precious to me now than it was a few years ago, I don’t want to waste a second of nap time or evenings. but what if this isn’t a waste?

I’m tired of overthinking and analyzing and trying to make things perfect. I just want to live my life and document it in ways that feel fun and lighthearted. 

I like writing. I want to be heard and seen and known in a way that reflects God’s work in me. Maybe one day I’ll be able to say that without rolling my eyes at myself.