Our SURPRISE Third Pregnancy
How it Happened, Early Symptoms, Taking the Test, Processing the News
I swore when I saw the positive test. To be fair, I said a word I didn’t know was a swear word. Here I was thinking I was a person who doesn’t swear, but apparently, I’ve been unknowingly swearing for the past few years. Anyway, I swore and then I almost cried because I wanted to be happy.
Our third pregnancy came as quite a shock and put us on track to have three under three this summer. It took me a few days to get over the initial shock and thoughts of “How are we going to do this?!” Before I started telling my husband how much fun it is that we get to experience an unplanned pregnancy and have all our babies so close together.
Our first two kids were planned 15 months apart, and we LOVED having two under two. We knew we wanted more kids eventually, but I had dreams of moving into our new house, settling in, and having another set of kids once ours were a little older.
This timing really threw off my plans. Now, should we have a fourth right away or wait and have two more in a few years?! Thankfully we don’t have to decide that yet. But truly, I think it's silly that we sit around trying to plan these things and take the biggest decisions of our lives out of God’s hands. Now that we’re a few months in, I’m so thankful God disrupted our plans! Our children are our biggest blessings, and we’re SO excited to meet this one!
How surprise pregnancies happen
Am I the only one who ALWAYS wants to know whether pregnancies were planned and if not HOW it happened? Especially after using FAM (fertility awareness method) successfully for almost four years with only planned pregnancies, I got a little cocky and started thinking “How do people mess this up?” We use Natural Cycles, and it's 98% accurate with perfect use.
But, as you might have guessed, I was not using it perfectly! Since I was exclusively breastfeeding my six-month-old and had only had a few periods since his birth, I knew not to fully rely on the app. When ovulation was approaching I decided the app was probably wrong and I could ignore its suggestion to use protection. It turns out my cycle was much more regular than I gave it credit for! Don’t blame Natural Cycles, this one is on me.
First Symptoms
This has been my smoothest pregnancy yet. I suspected pregnancy not because of nausea or fatigue, but because my body temperature was slightly high. I take my temperature every morning as part of tracking my cycle, and it is consistently around 36.63 C. It was slightly higher (36.83) for about a week which also happened with my other pregnancies. I tried to write it off as a cold symptom, but deep down I knew more was going on.
Taking the test
Since I discovered these test strips on amazon.ca (or here on amazon.com), I don’t waste $20 on a drugstore test anymore. I usually keep a box on hand, but of course, I had to order more and wait for them to arrive. As soon as I had the tests and my husband got home from work, I took one.
When I found out I was pregnant for the first time, I thought it was fun to take the test alone and tell my husband the news. But I’ve decided I like it better when we find out together. It felt very disunified to keep something so big from him and test by myself, so now we read the test together.
I brought the test out from the bathroom and waited the required minutes to look at it. After reminding my husband of what would signal a positive, I flipped it over and could not believe my eyes! It was the darkest line I’ve ever had on a first test.
Processing the News
We got over the initial shock pretty quickly. I spent a few days stressed about how we’re going to handle three under three, but then I remembered I felt the same about two under two. I also felt the same when we had our first child. Both times, I was so pleasantly surprised by our experience!
I don’t understand why people make motherhood sound so horrible. I spent the first three years of our marriage not wanting biological kids because the internet is so full of toxic mommy culture. I fell for the lies that motherhood is all about sleep deprivation and losing yourself. But thanks to all the toxic lies I read, I was pleasantly surprised in every way!
I’m thankful this pregnancy is a surprise instead of our first. I likely would have struggled with a surprise first pregnancy, but now, I have evidence that it will go well.
We’ve learned
We like babies
We like being parents
We can handle a small age gap
Babies can strengthen a marriage instead of driving a wedge
Chaotic moments will pass
Our children’s negative emotions are not a reflection of our value
Capacity grows as we need it
We’ve learned so much in our two years as parents already, and we know we will continue to grow. It wasn’t long before we felt excited to do it all again instead of fearful.
Within a few days, I kept telling my husband “I’m so glad we get to experience a surprise pregnancy!” And I really mean it! I’m pro-life, and I’ve made it my mission to help other women love every stage of motherhood. What a cool test of my convictions!
How God Prepared Our Hearts
Looking back, it seems like God was preparing our hearts before we found out about this baby.
We each had a moment at a family gathering where we looked around and thought “Who's missing?” It's hard to explain, but we knew someone else was supposed to join our crew.
I started to seriously question our use of birth control.
Our kids are the best people we know and having them was the best decision we’ve ever made together. It feels crazy to try to take our fertility into our own hands and prevent more babies from happening. Why would we want to prevent more people from joining our family? I actually want to cry thinking about it.
Around this time, I was frequently praying for God to bless us.
I was specifically praying over our finances and asking God for an abundance and an increase. In some moments it felt SO wrong to be praying for God to bless us in one area but closing the door in another.
I don’t think I believe birth control is wrong. But I believe God convicts our hearts around family planning, and He was convicting mine while I was newly pregnant!
I was praying and begging God to fill our bank accounts, but He chose something better. His plan is always better! I'm excited to meet this sweet child and find out why God chose them for our family team.
Conclusion
So there you have it. My full range of emotions processing our surprise third pregnancy. I’m so thankful for my husband and how calmly he puts up with the roller coaster that is his wife.
Now that we've had several months to process it, we are truly excited to do it all again! We know our kids will process the change well, and I think it’s so special that they have each other this time.
If you’re wondering, yes, I do still recommend natural family planning even after a surprise pregnancy. Hormonal birth control is a hard no for me! Use my link to get 20% off your first year of Natural Cycles (the easiest way to track your cycle) and a free thermometer.
