Ria's Birth

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I love thinking back to my first impressions of my daughter. I was super in shock when she was suddenly on my chest. But I remember thinking she felt sturdy and she looked like my mother-in-law.

I honestly spent more time preparing and thinking about birth than motherhood. I was SO excited! Overall, everything went the way I hoped with a smooth water-birth at home. But everything took a lot longer than I expected.

Is this real?

I got my first contraction at about 12:30 on Sunday, December 5. I had been feeling weird all weekend (it was like I could feel my cervix?) so we figured something was coming. In church on Sunday, I was exhausted. I was pretty much falling asleep on Tommy’s shoulder!

My first contraction happened in the car, but all I could think was “is this real? Is this it?” so I didn’t even mention it to Tommy until I had had a few more. The contractions kept coming pretty mild and pretty far apart, but we decided to get ready. We finished decorating the Christmas tree, Tommy laid out the birth tub, and he ran out to buy snacks to share with the midwives. Most of our supplies were gathered, so there wasn’t much more to do.

The contractions were still not super close or intense so we went to bed naively hoping labour would wake us up and we’d have a baby by morning.

The next day

Morning came, and I told Tommy he should just go to work, feeling discouraged by this point that things weren’t progressing.

Thankfully, he didn’t listen and stayed home to keep me company. We spent the day watching tv, going for walks and wondering when we were going to meet this baby!

That night, I decided to have a bath hoping my body would relax and the contractions would slow so I could sleep. Unfortunately, the bath had the opposite effect and the contractions became more intense. They were getting closer and closer to 4 minutes apart, so we finally decided to call the midwife. She recommended we try to get some sleep and call her back when we were no longer able to rest.

We slept fairly well, but by 5 a.m., I was no longer able to sleep. All I wanted was warm, comforting water, so I got up and took another bath. Once Tommy was up, I asked him to call again, and she decided to come check me.

Call the Midwife

I dream of being the kind of woman who declines cervical checks and listens to my body, but I needed to know if this was the real thing.

Thankfully, all those hours had done something. I was four centimetres dilated, so our midwife decided to stay with us. The midwife later told us she was surprised to find I was that far along because of how calm I was.

We took a walk around the block, and I spent most of the day labouring between the birth ball and the tub. At 5 she suggested checking me again before her shift change.

Progress was still happening slowly, so she offered to break my water. To my surprise, I gladly accepted as I was already feeling exhausted. After that, things intensified. Our dear photographer, Erin, and our other midwife came around 6, and after that my memories get a little fuzzy. I’m pretty sure my eyes were closed so I could focus from then on.

I remember thinking the baby would be born any second because I could feel her head so close. It’s probably a good thing I thought we were almost there, but we still had a ways to go.

Eventually, the midwife offered to check me again (in the tub this time) and discovered I had a cervical lip. She offered to hold it out of the way while I tried pushing.

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Pushing

My next memories are of pushing for what felt like 1000 years (realistically it was about 2.5 hours). Tommy got in the tub with me, and I felt I couldn’t get comfortable.

At some point I pooped, and, oddly its one of my favourite memories. Suddenly everyone was whispering and scurrying around as if they didn’t want to let me know it had just happened? But I opened my eyes and saw it and started laughing, and that seemed to relax the situation.

As Ria got closer, my midwife kept telling me she felt tons of hair. I really didn’t care. I was so tired I forgot I was having a baby. I was just angry at the one little part of her head that kept coming out and going back in.

By the end, I was feeling discouraged and completely exhausted, so I started praying. “Lord, I need you to get this baby out because I can’t do it.” Over and over I prayed, begging for help.

Meeting our daughter

Suddenly, at 12:18 a.m. on December 8, 2021, there was an actual baby on my chest, and I was shocked! “Oh my goodness, it’s a baby!” I yelled. I was so focused I really, truly forgot a baby was going to come out of me. It’s such a miracle I still have trouble believing it sometimes.

As I looked her over, I thought she was sturdy, and so alert, and for that I was grateful. I had feared taking care of a tiny, fragile baby, but at 9 lbs and 22 inches, she didn’t seem fragile. I excitedly discovered she was a girl!! We were right, just as we predicted at 11 weeks of pregnancy, it was our girl Ria in there the whole time!

I was still trying to get over my shock when I noticed her feet. Finally, it started to make sense. Her feet were the part I knew best. The part that would kick me, and I would poke them back. In the final days of my pregnancy, I estimated they were the length of my index finger, and I was shocked to discover it was true! When I saw her feet, I knew her.

Delivering the placenta

After a few minutes, I stood up and tried to deliver the placenta. All that came out was a bowl full of blood, so they took me over to the couch. It came out quickly then, and it was beautiful!! My husband encapsulated it for me in the following days so I could get all those nutrients back.

As the midwife stitched me up, Tommy held our brand-new daughter next to me. She cried a bit, but somehow, I didn’t associate those cries as mine to solve just yet.

Eventually, once I was stitched and wearing giant underwear with a giant blue pad inside, I fed her for the first time. I’m so thankful I had midwives to support me in the early days of breastfeeding. Ria was an eager eater even from the beginning.

The best part of homebirth is going to sleep in your own bed right after, and I passed out as soon as I got there.

Thankfully, Tommy was there to check up on Ria as she spat up fluid. After he had finished siphoning the bloody birth tub water out the window and down a storm drain, of course!

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