Asher's Birth
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If you plan on giving birth soon, here’s my number one tip: Don’t forget you’re having a baby.
it sounds simple, right? You’d think the constant contractions and downward pressure would help you remember what’s going on. but being in labour is like nothing else, and apparently, I’m not alone in genuinely forgetting it was time to meet my baby.
When my daughter was born, I was shocked. I kept saying things like “Oh my goodness it’s a baby” “What?!” “How did this fit out of me.” This made me kind of sad because meeting your baby is a really special moment, and I was too shocked to take it in.
When we were getting to the final weeks of pregnancy with my son, I kept telling my husband “YOU HAVE TO REMIND ME I’M HAVING A BABY!!”
And honestly, it changed everything.
I liked everything about his birth better. They say second births are usually quicker and smoother, and that was definitely the case physically, but it was also completely different emotionally.
I kept thinking thoughts like “I’m already a mom” and “I’ve done this before.” My most repeated phrase was “This is what we’ve been waiting for!”
Photos by Erin Caitlin Photography
The Days Prior
I went to bed about three times in a row convinced I would have a baby by morning. My body decided to prepare slowly with weeks of cramping and a few hours at a time of contractions. Thankfully, after one of those nights, I was about 4 cm dilated, so I knew it wasn’t all for nothing.
I went to bed on March 2 with strong contractions. sleep was touch and go because the pains were waking me up. But by morning, they were gone again.
Castor Oil
Feeling incredibly discouraged, I couldn’t stop sobbing but decided to make a breakfast casserole anyways.
I know it sounds crazy. My husband thought so too! But I had decided it was time to drink castor oil and my midwife told me to have a hardy meal beforehand. We finished eating at 8, and at 9 a.m., I knocked back the required 45mL.
Like clockwork, that stuff kicked in around 11. What a time. I spent the next couple of hours in and out of a sitz bath RUNNING to the toilet. The sitz bath was to ease my horrible haemorrhoids, of course. If you thought pregnancy was glamorous, you were mistaken.
At some point, I decided I was done in the bath, so I want to lay in bed. I think that’s when I realized the contractions were back.
Call the Midwife
They were more intense this time, so I asked my husband to set up the birth tub and call our midwife. I don’t think he understood the urgency after several nights of false labour, so he took his time.
In typical Tommy fashion, he left a sweet thoughtful message for the midwife. something like “Hey, if you don’t mind Micaela thinks maybe this would be a good time for you to come check her, and by the way, her contractions are two minutes apart”
I started listening to my birth affirmations (prerecorded by my husband!) and happily got in the tub.
As soon as our midwife arrived, I felt so much peace. She came in quietly and started setting up. She really understood my hopes for this birth and knew to speak to me as little as possible.
Right when I was starting to get discouraged, my water broke! It took me a second to realize what the strange sensation had been. I was in the tub, but I still felt the liquid shoot out of me. I was delighted to experience it! Last time, my water was broken for me.
Pushing
When I was ready to push, I decided to get out of the tub. I had hoped for another waterbirth, but I’m glad I held it loosely and listened to my body.
I was hoping it would take no pushing (as is the case with many second babies), but Asher’s position was not ideal. He had an arm up by his head.
But I was ready for it! I had energy from a good night’s sleep and hardy breakfast and confidence knowing my body had done this before. Even then, I kept whispering to my husband “This is what we’ve been waiting for!”
Praying for Help
At one point, I remember praying silently. I was asking God for strength and courage and I realized I could ask him to take my pain away.
But I didn’t want to.
I wanted to feel every sensation that was a part of bringing my son into the world. Honestly, birth is such an honour and I was on a hormone high!
Meeting My Son
Eventually, his head was born. A moment later, after it felt like he had gone back in, I realized he was born. He was here! And again, I couldn’t help but say “This is what we’ve been waiting for!”
During my whole pregnancy, we suspected we were going to have a boy. We were delighted to confirm we were correct!
I remained in place to deliver the placenta, and the midwives cleaned me up.
I still felt like a human after he was born - not something I expected after my daughter’s long labour - so I truly enjoyed sitting around, debriefing, eating snacks, burning the umbilical cord and taking in my new baby boy.
Asher is such a special addition to our family. His name means “blessed” and we feel truly blessed to have him.
Immediately after his birth, I thought “Maybe I never want to do that again.” But it’s been long enough now. I’m already eager to give birth again one day!
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