007 | How to Potty Train Your Toddler With Peace
Positive Mindsets for Potty Training
Listen to the Podcast:
If there's one thing I want you to take away from this, it's a sense of realistic expectations when it comes to potty training, and a deep sense of peace. Maybe this won’t be as bad as you think, and maybe, just maybe, it can even be fun!
I know "fun" isn’t the first thing that comes to mind when you think of potty training. You might be picturing messes, stress, and the overwhelming fear that your child will never figure it out. But I truly believe potty training can be an exciting milestone. It’s pretty special to watch our toddlers learn something new!
I’ve potty trained two kids so far, so I’m not claiming to be an expert, but I want to share what has helped us enjoy the process, both practically and in mindset.
When Is the Right Time to Start Potty Training?
The biggest question on your mind might be: When should I start potty training? I know you’re looking for a clear answer, but honestly, I think you’ll just know when it’s time.
You can ask a dozen moms what age they started, and you'll get a dozen different answers. What truly matters is your own level of peace about your child still being in diapers and your child’s level of peace around wearing diapers. With both of my potty-trained kids, there was a point where they were eager. They were no longer at peace in their diapers and they wanted to learn something new.
Set Realistic Expectations.
Let go of the “three-day-method.” If you've watched YouTube videos or read about the “surefire three-day potty training method,” I want you to go ahead and throw that idea out the window. Maybe there is more behind the scenes, but I don’t think it’s realistic to expect that potty training should begin at age three or four with no prior conversations. Instead, I think it should be an ongoing process, a conversation that starts long before you take away diapers.
Start Talking About the Potty Early
I like to start talking about the potty ridiculously early. When my kids are about one year old, I say simple things like, “Mommy’s going potty right now,” or “Big sister is peeing on the potty. Right now, you pee in your diapers, but one day, all your pee will go in the potty too!”
I believe in treating babies like people. I like talking to them, explaining things, and normalizing everyday activities. I also like to let them sit on the potty after naps, when they often naturally need to go. This early exposure helps create familiarity so that potty training doesn’t feel like a sudden, overwhelming transition.
Hold It Loosely & Be Patient
It’s so important to hold potty training loosely. My second child started showing interest when he was not yet two, and I was totally happy to support him! But I also acknowledged it might not lead to full potty training right away. I saw the early learning experience as valuable, even if he decided to go back to diapers for a while.
If you're feeling time pressure—maybe you’re expecting another baby soon and don’t want two kids in diapers—I encourage you to take the pressure off yourself. Many experts say it’s best not to introduce major changes (like potty training) within three months before or after a new sibling arrives. It’s okay to wait. You can always start the conversation, let them try sitting on it and lay the groundwork without forcing a transition.
It’s Not a Race
There is zero need to rush. If you want to use pull-ups when you're out of the house for a while, that’s totally fine. I have three little ones right now, and with my most recently potty-trained child, I’m comfortable letting him go without a pull-up at home, but I still use them in certain places for my own peace of mind.
The same goes for nighttime potty training. It will happen naturally. One day, you’ll realize their pull-ups have been dry for weeks, and you might decide to stop using them. But there’s no need to force it.
You & Your Child Are a Team
At the beginning, your child might not know when they need to go. That’s why I take on the responsibility of reminding them. If I know it’s been a few hours, I don’t ask, “Do you need to go potty?” (because that gives them the option to say no). Instead, I say, “It’s potty time! Do you want to use the big potty or the little potty?”
If I do ask, “Do you need to go now or in two minutes?” I have to be okay with “two minutes” being the answer. Giving choices helps toddlers feel in control, but I also make sure that potty time is a non-negotiable part of our routine.
Expect Some Pee on the Floor
There will be some messes, and that’s okay. I always think it’s funny when people ask, “Do they have accidents?”—of course they do! They’re learning.
Instead of getting frustrated, I try to stay neutral. If my child pees on the floor, I say, “Oops, there’s pee on the ground. Let’s see if you have more for the potty,” or “Let’s clean it up together.” There’s no reason to yell at them or make them feel ashamed of it. They probably weren’t trying to pee on the floor.
That being said, if your child is holding their pee for days or constantly having accidents without progress, they might not be quite ready. And that’s okay, too!
Our Potty Training Process
For both of my kids, this is what potty training has looked like:
Around 1 year old: Start talking about the potty casually.
Introduce the potty: Let them sit on it after naps or when interested.
Encourage early attempts: If they start showing interest in peeing in the potty, I let them run around naked for a few days to help them make the connection.
Go commando: Once they’re getting most pee in the potty, I let them wear pants without underwear to see if they still recognize the cue.
Switch to underwear: After a few days of consistent success, we move to underwear.
Use pull-ups as needed: I keep them in pull-ups at night and when out and about until I’m confident they’re fully ready.
Having an older sibling helps a lot. My second child had someone his size to watch and imitate, and I had a little tattletale to report any pee on the floor, which was very convenient!
Yes, You can Potty Train With Peace
Some people take a totally different approach and don’t potty train at all, letting their child use diapers until they decide to stop on their own. Personally, I wouldn’t be comfortable with that. When my kids are eager to use the potty, I want to give them the dignity of doing so.
But at the end of the day, the most important thing is that you feel at peace with whatever method you choose.
If you’ve potty trained a child (or a few!), I’d love to hear your best tips in the comments.
If this post (or episode) blessed you, subscribe to the podcast on Spotify, Apple pod, or wherever you listen, and if you know a fellow mom who’s in the thick of potty training, send this post her way! Thanks for being here!
