Doubting Your Value? Here are 3 Things to Do

Yesterday, I found myself fiercely doubting my value.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve believed each and every person was created with equal and unchanging value. I believe we start our lives this way, and there is nothing we can do to change our value. I believe this so strongly in my mind, but sometimes it takes a while for my heart to catch up.

Even yesterday, every time I opened Instagram, I grew afraid of what I might find on there. I grew afraid of people disliking me or attacking me for saying something wrong. Every time a message came in, I grew anxious, worried I wouldn’t find the right words to respond and that I might somehow accidentally hurt or confuse someone.

Can you relate?

I know you know you have value, it just doesn’t feel like it today. You’re hurting and doubting yourself more than you care to admit. I’m going to walk you through three key tools I use when I’m experiencing self-doubt, which will hopefully serve as a guide for you to reflect on your own value.

Find the lie you’re believing

When I have a day like yesterday, full of anxiety and self-doubt, I can almost always trace it back to one core belief I hold about myself that is untrue.

It’s easy to think “yep, I’m doubting myself” and stop there, but I want you to dig deeper. In what area are you doubting yourself? In what area do you believe you’re incapable of moving forward?

I’ll start. When I was full of anxiety and self-doubt yesterday, I was able to pinpoint a few specific situations where these feelings arose. I felt anxious when I thought about posting on social media, responding to messages or writing anything. What do these situations have in common? Words.

I was believing my value is based on my words.

Once I was able to isolate the specific lie I was holding onto, I was able to move on to the next step.

What is it for you? When do you feel anxiety or self-doubt rise?

Remember - you can’t increase your value either

If you’re like me, you’ve been told your whole life that other people’s opinions don’t dictate your value. That’s a great thing to say to a kid, but as I was told this, I was shown that people were praised for having higher grades, more friends, or going to Sunday School class with more bible verses memorized. It’s pretty confusing.

In order to remember that I cannot accidentally decrease my value or God’s love for me by failing to achieve a goal or making a mistake, I usually have to flip it around.

There is nothing you can do to increase your value. There is nothing you can do to increase God’s love for you.

Why?

Both of those measures are already at full capacity. And that is where they will stay.

Now - for a more specific example, let’s talk about my situation yesterday.

I was acting as if my value was based on my words. I reminded myself “saying the wrong thing won’t decrease my value,” but it wasn’t enough.

I had to remind myself that no matter how well I respond in conversation, compliment people or craft the perfect Instagram caption, I am not capable of increasing my value.

Does that feel like a weight lifted off your shoulders? It did for me! If I’m able to remember that my value is not something I control, I find it a whole lot easier to go about my day.

Make a mental picture

The other day, I was sitting by a lake and I wanted to make a mental picture of my value. I wanted an object to represent it so that I could visualize it whenever my value felt threatened.

I looked around me at the rocks, the trees, the grass, the water, but none of those things felt right. All of these things change. These objects increase, decrease, break, die and lose “value.” None of those items were suitable.

I kept looking. The bricks on the house? The boards on the dock? My own body? No. None of those.

They all change and shift depending on their surroundings.

Finally, I realized I’m not going to find anything. I could search this whole earth, but I’m not going to find any object that can represent my value. My value is not of this earth, and it’s not stored on this earth.

My value is not an object living in an unstable environment as all the items I’ve ever seen are.

I still wanted a mental picture, so I decided I would have to dream up something unfamiliar to me.

Now, when I think of my value, I picture a blue ball of matter. I’m not quite sure what it is or what it’s made of. I’ll never know! The colors and the way it shimmers make it clear that it is not of this world.

Each time I feel under attack, unsure, or lacking confidence, I think of that little blue swirling ball just sitting untouched and unaffected in a heavenly throne room.

No matter what happens to my physical body, my bank accounts, my home, my clothes, my career, that blue ball remains unchanged. I can’t decrease it or break it by doing something wrong, and I can’t make it grow or change by doing something right.

Finally, I have a mental picture that has been a powerful tool in remembering where my value lies!

Wrapping up

I wish remembering our value and our identity could be this simple - a three-step process that works every time. But sometimes it’s hard to take what we know in our heads and truly feel it in our hearts. Isn’t it?

I’m here to remind you, as often as I can, you have deep and unchanging value, and I hope these mental processes that have helped me will aid you as you work to discover your God-given value and walk in it.

Wondering where to go from here? I think you’ll like my free ebook!

As followers of Jesus, we know our value comes from Him alone. But we still catch ourselves acting as if we can somehow decrease or increase our worth. In this three-part ebook, I’m sharing a few ways I tried hard (and failed) to increase my value and my three-step strategy for overcoming lies about my worth.