12 Things that Surprised me About Pregnancy
My first pregnancy felt very abrupt after years of not planning to have biological children. God changed my heart all at once, overnight, and I was pregnant two months later. I knew very little about pregnancy and hadn’t paid much attention as people talked about it, so a lot surprised me! Everything from obscure symptoms to big emotions felt completely new.
I had my third child a couple of months ago, but I’m thinking all the way back to that first pregnancy in 2021 so I can share these with you. Hopefully, if you’re in your first pregnancy right now, you won’t be quite as shocked!
For reference, I'm in Ontario in Canada, so some of these might be different elsewhere, but this is my experience living in Ontario.
1. You won’t receive or require prenatal care immediately
I remember the first time I called the midwife's office to book an appointment. They told me, “Okay, great. We'll see you two months from now,” and I was stunned.
I had just found out I was pregnant. I didn't want to tell anyone in my real life yet because it was such an abrupt change of heart. I felt like I didn't know what I was doing! I wanted someone to confirm for me that I was pregnant and make sure I was taking the right supplements, but it's typical with midwives here to have the first appointment at 10 weeks of pregnancy.
It felt like forever after getting my first positive test at about 3.5 weeks, but realistically, there was nothing to do but wait and add a prenatal vitamin to my routine.
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2. Pregnancy Ultrasounds are not like the movies
I always thought, based on movies, that ultrasounds were supposed to be a sweet, fun experience for mom and dad to “meet” the baby. I imagined seeing our baby for the first time on a giant screen while holding hands and tearing up together.
But, ultrasounds are a medical procedure, not a sentimental one. Many places here in Ontario don't even let the father come in, and the tech likely won't show you the baby until the end. They're usually very focused as they have a lot of images to get in a short amount of time. Ultrasound techs are not allowed to give out medical information, so some don’t even share the heartbeat.
During my first pregnancy, we went to a 3D ultrasound clinic for the first ultrasound. Not for a 3D ultrasound, but for a 2D ultrasound with a movie-like experience where we were both allowed in the room celebrating our baby.
3. You will probably forget you're pregnant
This blew my mind the first time. Even though its happening inside your body, you forget. One moment you're going about your everyday life and suddenly you remember, oh my goodness, there is a person in there! I'm growing a life right now.
It's especially funny when you start to get really big and can no longer squeeze sideways through small spaces. You will likely still forget you're pregnant try to squeeze through spaces you can no longer fit through.
4. People comment on your pregnant belly very early
It's awkward when you forget you're pregnant and a stranger asks you a question about your baby. I had many confused conversations until the stranger finally gestured towards my belly and I remembered my growing babe.
I found the (mostly kind) pregnancy comments and unsolicited advice began surprisingly early! I was shocked by some people’s boldness when I felt I was barely showing.
5. You might like being pregnant
I know this is a different experience for everyone, but I expected to hate it. I know some people end up with horrible symptoms, and movies always play up the negative aspects. I had very smooth pregnancies and I enjoyed the experience each time!
6. You will feel closely bonded to your husband
There's something so special about carrying his child inside of you. Conceiving a child is obviously one of the biggest decisions we ever made together, and preparing for a whole new life as parents really brought us together. The memories we made during that last child-free summer were extra special!
7. You might feel sorry for your husband
I’m always so thankful I get to be the one to carry our baby. I felt that way during each pregnancy, but especially that first pregnancy. I remember thinking about how cool it was that she just was like hanging out with me all the time and I felt bad that my husband didn't get that experience.
8. You might not love your baby until you meet them
How do you define love? Is it a verb, or is it that warm and fuzzy feeling? I'm sure you love your child in that you are actively taking care of them. You're love them by taking those prenatals, getting good rest, going to appointments, giving up wine, whatever it might be, you love your child in those ways. But you might not feel the warm and fuzzies until you meet them. And even then, when they're born and they're in your arms, it might take a little while to feel love towards them.
If that’s the case, it doesn't mean you're a horrible person. It just means your baby is a stranger you've never met. It's okay if it takes time to feel those warm and fuzzy feelings
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9. you might need to mourn the life you are leaving behind
And again, you might feel guilty about it. It’s hard to say goodbye to the life that you're in. I believe it’s important to spend time intentionally releasing the life you have now so you can fully prepare your heart to welcome a new child.
I felt this, especially in my first pregnancy. I loved my husband so much and I knew it would be hard to give up all the quality one-on-one time we had together. I knew it would be so much harder to pick up and go camping or make memories when we added a member to our family.
It's hard to give up a life you know you love for one that you haven't experienced yet. And that's okay! You're not a bad person. It's good and healthy to release that season so that you can step into the next one.
10. The final weeks of pregnancy may feel the longest
One of the craziest feelings is knowing that you could give birth any day now and not knowing when. Every pregnancy, I think I'm going to be so patient at the end. I mentally plan to be pregnant for 42 weeks, but still, once I hit 37 weeks and I know that the baby could be born healthy any day, I overthink every twinge and sensation wondering if its labor.
Imagine you were getting married, but you didn't know when or to who. That's what I think it's like waiting for a baby. You're trying to plan for a big event, but you don't know when it's gonna happen and you don't know who you are going to meet. That's a crazy feeling.
11. You might not be ready for pregnancy to end
I felt this in all of my pregnancies. As much as I'm on edge waiting for labor to start, I also feel a little bit afraid to meet a whole new person and have a whole new child to take care of. I've never gotten to that point where I want it to be over.
12. You might forget you're giving birth
Here’s my number one birth tip: don't forget you're having a baby. When I had my first, I just was so focused on trying to process contractions and push effectively that I forgot what it was all for. Suddenly there was a baby on my chest, and the first words my daughter heard were, “oh my goodness, it's a baby.” I genuinely was stunned. I forgot there was a baby at the end.
When I had my second, I told my husband “no matter what, don’t let me forget I’m having a baby!” and I enjoyed his birth much more!
What surprised you about pregnancy?
If you have had the privilege of being pregnant, or you're currently pregnant, I'd love to hear from you! What is something that surprised you about pregnancy? Do you agree with mine or do they feel like common knowledge to you? Leave me a comment and let me know.
